-The use of the history tab is extremely helpful in this game, especially when text goes by almost too fast to read (which I assume is intentional).
-Perhaps not intentional, the sound effects for Haruka in the beginning scared the shit out of me and kept me on edge for the rest of the game. Also the breathing sound effects at one point were freaky. Well done!
-I wasn't quite sure what the deal with the whole "Nao" thing was; I didn't know if it was meant to be creepy (implying that you payed the game previously with another alias) or if it was a casual nickname. If creepy, then I think that the use of Nao should be help off being said directly (the scene where she mentions giving the player a new name), and should just be casually thrown into the mix without being directly acknowledged. Changing the name tag to say Nao and using it for the first time when Haruka says "I care about you Nao" is perfect. If casual, disregard, but make that scene a little more clear.
-The change in music and visual distortion was great. The plastic 3D glasses (red and blue) effect was done well on Haruka, which is hard to do without hurting the eyes to look at.
-In terms of grammar/English, I noticed that sometimes when the game goes into the narrative thing where the player talks to themselves, sometimes you say "You stepped in several times.." and sometimes it's "...Haruka is already miles ahead of me." You switch from third to first person a lot, which is something to watch out for. I would settle with one of the two. On the same topic, The bit where Haruka talks about stamina is a bit confusing. She seems to be talking about stamina being related to looking attractive but I don't really get it.
-The overall character design and backgrounds were very charming and friendly, which goes perfectly with your deeper game meaning.
-This is a type of demo, so I can't be too harsh, but Haruka's speech at the end lays it on a little thick. In other words, you may want to give the player more credit in terms of showing vs telling. The end speech was far more telling than showing. A player should be able to find the meaning of your game, without you having to tell them what the meaning is directly. Instead of telling, show them the meaning and let them put the pieces together themselves. I was having fun trying to figure the game out, but felt a bit discouraged in being handed the meaning on a silver platter. Again, this is a demo, and I don't know what the full game will look like, but something to keep in mind.
I very much liked this game, and see great potential in it! Keep up the good work; I can't wait to play the full game.
Hey! Thank you for coming across! And thank you especially for the thoughtful comment.
- The too-fast parts to read were intentional! Several times the text is eliminated altogether, as if to pretend it didn't happen at all.
- The music and SFX can be a little loud, I meant to mix them quieter for launch, but figured it'd be better if the player could turn down the FX, rather than them being too quiet with no way to turn them up. I will tweak it a little lower as it's not meant to totally freak you out. :P
- Nao is a gender neutral name, and is a default name if you don't enter your own. You should be able to enter a name at the beginning, and then a second time when Haruka prompts you! The use of names in this game is important, esp, when it comes to Haruka's and her true name. It may be an error that it permanently changed to 'Nao' thru the whole game, as that's always up to the player's choice...
- That 3D glasses effect is just one that I super love to use and abuse. >:)
- Spelling or grammar errors are 100% my own fault. Haruka's comment about 'stamina' was about sex, in essence. A joke about stamina aka being able to last longer.
- Without giving it away, there's two endings to the game. The speech at the end definitely needs some work, to justify the journey the player goes on. Is there a specific point at which it felt that way, or is the whole section just a little too much? Feel free to point it out, I'll take it into consideration!
Thank you again for the comment! It means a lot to me that you came across, and took the time to go into detail about your experience. I'm happy to review the overall game with another pass, to better refine the way Haruka comes across. I'm trying to make it come across as genuine, not hammy... Thank you, Ren! :D
It's totally possible that I had my volume turned up way too loud for the sound effects, but either way, I think it's fine as is :)
*misses the sex joke because I'm desensitized*
I'd love to play through the game again with this information and give you more specific details, but the game (Mac) doesn't appear to let me. It downloaded just fine, but won't seem to open. Tells me "%@" can't be found, or that "beyondyou" can't be opened.
Edit: Nevermind, the fifth download worked? Gonna roll with it.
How weird... The %@ command may be linked to the %(pn)s and %(tn)s tags, for the names in the game. In any case, I'll be either reworking the sleuthing involved or being more overt, as I'm not sure it's clear what has to be done to unlock the 'good' ending. It's kinda meta, but I don't wanna spoil the fun so early on in the process.
Does the good ending have anything to do with inputing Haruka's real name in the beginning? That was my thought, but I can't get any dialogue that mentions her real name.
technically there's 3 endings-ish (i guess more like 2.5) because if you enter the correct name at the beginning of the game, or at the ending of the game, the dialogue is slightly differed
This turned out as an interesting experience! As the updates come, will there be more added to the experience as well? Or will it remain is a short game?
Hello! I would love to have additional characters, which would in turn extend the experience. This would probably involve a character artist, as I couldn't draw in this style in a convincing enough way to be happy.
I don't ever seen it being more than a few hours, even with the extension... But more time to build tension, and some more time to develop the mystery would be ideal!
I see, I see. I'm super interested in seeing how the game will turn out! Some tension would be really good too because the game felt a little rushed, but that makes sense with it being a demo and not a full game. Can't wait to see more!
Hey, so I just wanted to let you know about a small bug I encountered. After the "do-over" at the beginning, when there's the "Of course I know your name, it's..." prompt, for some reason she always says "that's a little on the nose" unless you input Haruka, and always says "you're not one of those... nevermind..." unless you also input Haruka for that as well.
Noted -- that's the result of trying to account for multiple possibilities in one single instance, and that works and then doesn't... =-= Apologies! Thank you for letting me know tho! :D I updated the available version to remove that occurring.
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IT"S DOKI DOKI LITERATURE CLUB ALL OVER AGAIN!
Similar concept from a different angle. Just a bit of fun! ;33
HEHE! True!
I love looking around to find secrets, and the storyline is so different from the other games like this!
Yeah, it's more... protective, than most games in the same genre. "For the greater good" rather than "All for me!". Thank you!
Here from "Console Her".
My thoughts:
-The use of the history tab is extremely helpful in this game, especially when text goes by almost too fast to read (which I assume is intentional).
-Perhaps not intentional, the sound effects for Haruka in the beginning scared the shit out of me and kept me on edge for the rest of the game. Also the breathing sound effects at one point were freaky. Well done!
-I wasn't quite sure what the deal with the whole "Nao" thing was; I didn't know if it was meant to be creepy (implying that you payed the game previously with another alias) or if it was a casual nickname. If creepy, then I think that the use of Nao should be help off being said directly (the scene where she mentions giving the player a new name), and should just be casually thrown into the mix without being directly acknowledged. Changing the name tag to say Nao and using it for the first time when Haruka says "I care about you Nao" is perfect. If casual, disregard, but make that scene a little more clear.
-The change in music and visual distortion was great. The plastic 3D glasses (red and blue) effect was done well on Haruka, which is hard to do without hurting the eyes to look at.
-In terms of grammar/English, I noticed that sometimes when the game goes into the narrative thing where the player talks to themselves, sometimes you say "You stepped in several times.." and sometimes it's "...Haruka is already miles ahead of me." You switch from third to first person a lot, which is something to watch out for. I would settle with one of the two. On the same topic, The bit where Haruka talks about stamina is a bit confusing. She seems to be talking about stamina being related to looking attractive but I don't really get it.
-The overall character design and backgrounds were very charming and friendly, which goes perfectly with your deeper game meaning.
-This is a type of demo, so I can't be too harsh, but Haruka's speech at the end lays it on a little thick. In other words, you may want to give the player more credit in terms of showing vs telling. The end speech was far more telling than showing. A player should be able to find the meaning of your game, without you having to tell them what the meaning is directly. Instead of telling, show them the meaning and let them put the pieces together themselves. I was having fun trying to figure the game out, but felt a bit discouraged in being handed the meaning on a silver platter. Again, this is a demo, and I don't know what the full game will look like, but something to keep in mind.
I very much liked this game, and see great potential in it! Keep up the good work; I can't wait to play the full game.
-Ren
Hey! Thank you for coming across! And thank you especially for the thoughtful comment.
- The too-fast parts to read were intentional! Several times the text is eliminated altogether, as if to pretend it didn't happen at all.
- The music and SFX can be a little loud, I meant to mix them quieter for launch, but figured it'd be better if the player could turn down the FX, rather than them being too quiet with no way to turn them up. I will tweak it a little lower as it's not meant to totally freak you out. :P
- Nao is a gender neutral name, and is a default name if you don't enter your own. You should be able to enter a name at the beginning, and then a second time when Haruka prompts you! The use of names in this game is important, esp, when it comes to Haruka's and her true name. It may be an error that it permanently changed to 'Nao' thru the whole game, as that's always up to the player's choice...
- That 3D glasses effect is just one that I super love to use and abuse. >:)
- Spelling or grammar errors are 100% my own fault. Haruka's comment about 'stamina' was about sex, in essence. A joke about stamina aka being able to last longer.
- Without giving it away, there's two endings to the game. The speech at the end definitely needs some work, to justify the journey the player goes on. Is there a specific point at which it felt that way, or is the whole section just a little too much? Feel free to point it out, I'll take it into consideration!
Thank you again for the comment! It means a lot to me that you came across, and took the time to go into detail about your experience. I'm happy to review the overall game with another pass, to better refine the way Haruka comes across. I'm trying to make it come across as genuine, not hammy... Thank you, Ren! :D
Hey,
It's totally possible that I had my volume turned up way too loud for the sound effects, but either way, I think it's fine as is :)
*misses the sex joke because I'm desensitized*
I'd love to play through the game again with this information and give you more specific details, but the game (Mac) doesn't appear to let me. It downloaded just fine, but won't seem to open. Tells me "%@" can't be found, or that "beyondyou" can't be opened.
Edit: Nevermind, the fifth download worked? Gonna roll with it.
How weird... The %@ command may be linked to the %(pn)s and %(tn)s tags, for the names in the game. In any case, I'll be either reworking the sleuthing involved or being more overt, as I'm not sure it's clear what has to be done to unlock the 'good' ending. It's kinda meta, but I don't wanna spoil the fun so early on in the process.
Does the good ending have anything to do with inputing Haruka's real name in the beginning? That was my thought, but I can't get any dialogue that mentions her real name.
It's not mentioned directly in the game, per say. It's in supplementary information. Meta-things.
technically there's 3 endings-ish (i guess more like 2.5) because if you enter the correct name at the beginning of the game, or at the ending of the game, the dialogue is slightly differed
This turned out as an interesting experience! As the updates come, will there be more added to the experience as well? Or will it remain is a short game?
Hello! I would love to have additional characters, which would in turn extend the experience. This would probably involve a character artist, as I couldn't draw in this style in a convincing enough way to be happy.
I don't ever seen it being more than a few hours, even with the extension... But more time to build tension, and some more time to develop the mystery would be ideal!
I see, I see. I'm super interested in seeing how the game will turn out! Some tension would be really good too because the game felt a little rushed, but that makes sense with it being a demo and not a full game. Can't wait to see more!
Hey, so I just wanted to let you know about a small bug I encountered. After the "do-over" at the beginning, when there's the "Of course I know your name, it's..." prompt, for some reason she always says "that's a little on the nose" unless you input Haruka, and always says "you're not one of those... nevermind..." unless you also input Haruka for that as well.
Noted -- that's the result of trying to account for multiple possibilities in one single instance, and that works and then doesn't... =-= Apologies! Thank you for letting me know tho! :D I updated the available version to remove that occurring.
That's fine. Just another thing, you didn't mark the updated versions with a platform, so they can't be downloaded on the desktop app.
I didn't use butler.... Whoops. @_@ First game woes. I'll fix it!
Oh this looks like an awesome concept! Great work!! The art is gorgeous as well!
Thank you! The art is largely free assets that I edited and compiled but appreciate the comment all the same. :P